A Dinosaur Ate Your Alien eBook Parker Moose
Download As PDF : A Dinosaur Ate Your Alien eBook Parker Moose 
The squid of the planet Steranko have a problem. Their king is a lunatic, the last of their once-proud space fleet has been reduced to a theme restaurant, and the population’s only ambition is to catch all of their soaps. So when a mineral shortage triggers a planetwide crisis, it’s time to go where no squid has gone before out of their comfort zone.
Light-years away, the people of Earth aren’t doing too well, either. The cavemen there are in constant danger of becoming extinct, whether it’s from the elements, dinosaurs or their own poor table manners. Anyone with half a brain would want to get out of town. But there’s only one person on the planet who meets that requirement. He’s Cro, the first Cro-Magnon man in a world of Neanderthals, and he’s about to meet an alien race that’s truly ahead of their time.
Will Cro sell out his people for the sake of a good conversation? Does brains versus brawn really matter at the wrong end of a club? And how does an alien from another galaxy get an Irish accent? It's ET vs BC in a comic culture clash!
A Dinosaur Ate Your Alien eBook Parker Moose
Back in September 2013, Parker left a message on an authors' forum asking for cover advice on his new book. I looked at the cover and made a suggestion reference the artwork. I also read the preview and was turned off to the book because of the caveman language. Example: "Shirt am too good for old names." I told him that it would be difficult to read an entire book that was written like that, and while I can understand his characters are cavemen, it was kind of annoying. But, the book was on sale and I thought the premise was kind of cute.**UPDATE: Parker rearranged a few of the chapters so the cavemen don't come in at the begging of the preview anymore. The cavemen still have the same dialog, but you don't get to that until later.**
This book has been sitting on my Kindle ever since then, not getting read. Last week I had nothing left to read and decided to get through this story since it was already there and paid for. My biggest disappointment is that I waited almost nine months to read this. It was a fantastic story on many levels. It was a well thought out story line and it was presented in an understandable way. The characters were fantastic and even the jerks of the story were easy to like. And of course, it was extremely hilarious. I would put this book on par with Christopher Moore and he is one of my favorite authors (Sacre Bleu not withstanding - yuck). And it was very well edited, which should be important to all authors but even more so to indie authors who want to be taken seriously. I only found one error is which is less than I commonly find in big name books.
The caveman talk does persist through the book but only about a third of the characters talk like that. The other two thirds don't and they have the majority of the lines. Some of the characters have a delightful British accent or a fantastic Irish Brogue. In another series I really enjoy, not related to this author, one character has an extremely thick Brogue that is almost unreadable (Sten). But the Irish squid alien in this story is just a hair more Brogue-ish than Scotty was (Star Trek, you got that right?). And while the caveman talk takes a little getting used to, it's easy to embrace once you realize its purpose and you get into the story.
One review said that it was difficult to follow because it jumped around a lot. I actually really liked the way the narrative moved from group to group and back again. It gave me a great visualization of how these events were unfolding at the same time in different places but completely intertwined and dependent on each other.
And lastly, I gave the book 5-Stars because it deserved it. I almost gave it only 4-Stars because sometimes people see these reviews and think a friend or family member is trying to bolster their indie author. But I promise you, I have no idea who this Parker Moose guy is other than a great first time author who hit one out of the park (no pun intended) on his first try. I'm disappointed to see his book ranked #862,310 in Kindle sales. This means he's getting less than ten sales a month (probably less than five). His work deserves more attention.
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A Dinosaur Ate Your Alien eBook Parker Moose Reviews
I can't remember the last time I laughed so hysterically? So, Be careful if you read this book in a public place! People get very nervous when they are watching a person who is holding a cellphone, & begins laughing like a lunatic!
this book is creative and an easy read. good sense of humor. had fun while following the story. try it and you won't be dissappointed
Just finished this hilarious book. This is one of the very few books I will read again, to savor the funny parts. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I look forward to reading whatever else this author writes.
Great
Had a hard time reading this book because I was laughing so hard! No, really, it is that funny. I was thinking Mel Brooks mashed with Monty Python, Star Trek and Jurassic Park. You may think otherwise, but you'll be laughing too much to argue.
There was something about "A Dinosaur Ate Your Alien" that was SO comfortably familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me. This book has the same heart and comedic timing as a Jean Shepherd tale--with a little Neil Gaimanesque wit thrown in for spice. I only wish Spalding Gray were still alive to do the audiobook version. That would priceless!
If you like a story that makes you smile throughout, and laugh out loud at least every three to four pages, you'll love "Dinosaur!" Moose's grasp of characters and setting are so VISUAL it's hard not to see this is a Pixar movie while you're reading it. You'll definitely want to read it again and again to catch the sardonic jabs or twists of irony you missed the first time through.
Ever read a book and say, "I wish I'd thought of that!"? This is one of those. Moose's comedic view is familiar, yet fresh. You don't have to be a kid (unless you count kid at heart) to enjoy "Dinosaur." There are so many great quips that would go right over a kid's head to hit the parents right between the eyes you'd really have to try hard not to smile while you're reading it.
My only knock--and I was hard pressed to find one (though I feel a review can't be complete without a little constructive criticism), is that cavemen named after common nouns ("Shirt", "Snack", "Fire", "Head") made for a lot of re-reading of lines to make sure you were seeing a name or an object; but that's admittedly a weak critique and reflects more on my own reading skills than Moose's writing. And let's face it, following the exploits of the Swamp and Lake tribes with names like that really make for some great play on the old Abbott and Costello "Who's on first?" bits.
I will definitely be following the career of Parker Moose and can't wait to see what he comes up with next. Awesome debut!
LONG LIVE STERANKO!!!
First - why does the description of this book list it at 3170 KB? That's more than 3 MB. My file is 463 KB!
The book is very very funny. Despite the possible spoiler, I was reading at the doctor's office and nearly fell off the table laughing when I read about the 2 houses of Parliament for Steranko -- Congress and Progress. I never thought about the word "congress" that way before!
However, it is a bit confusing. Not the names of the cavemen as some have mentioned, but the way the book hops around among about 4 different settings! It has earth (with dinosaurs AND two separate tribes of cavemen), two different spaceships from Steranko and the planet itself (and several places there as well).
The names of the cavemen being a word they like (that's not used as a name at the time for anybody else) is cute with names like Shirt, Fight, Dog, Rock and Ugh. Now, "It" is a different case, that's an alien that looks like a caveman.
Over all, the book is very funny. The confusion slowed it down a bit but overall that just knocked it down by one star.
One tiny spoiler -- Watch Betty. She's a riot! I think she's my favorite character in the book!
Back in September 2013, Parker left a message on an authors' forum asking for cover advice on his new book. I looked at the cover and made a suggestion reference the artwork. I also read the preview and was turned off to the book because of the caveman language. Example "Shirt am too good for old names." I told him that it would be difficult to read an entire book that was written like that, and while I can understand his characters are cavemen, it was kind of annoying. But, the book was on sale and I thought the premise was kind of cute.
**UPDATE Parker rearranged a few of the chapters so the cavemen don't come in at the begging of the preview anymore. The cavemen still have the same dialog, but you don't get to that until later.**
This book has been sitting on my ever since then, not getting read. Last week I had nothing left to read and decided to get through this story since it was already there and paid for. My biggest disappointment is that I waited almost nine months to read this. It was a fantastic story on many levels. It was a well thought out story line and it was presented in an understandable way. The characters were fantastic and even the jerks of the story were easy to like. And of course, it was extremely hilarious. I would put this book on par with Christopher Moore and he is one of my favorite authors (Sacre Bleu not withstanding - yuck). And it was very well edited, which should be important to all authors but even more so to indie authors who want to be taken seriously. I only found one error is which is less than I commonly find in big name books.
The caveman talk does persist through the book but only about a third of the characters talk like that. The other two thirds don't and they have the majority of the lines. Some of the characters have a delightful British accent or a fantastic Irish Brogue. In another series I really enjoy, not related to this author, one character has an extremely thick Brogue that is almost unreadable (Sten). But the Irish squid alien in this story is just a hair more Brogue-ish than Scotty was (Star Trek, you got that right?). And while the caveman talk takes a little getting used to, it's easy to embrace once you realize its purpose and you get into the story.
One review said that it was difficult to follow because it jumped around a lot. I actually really liked the way the narrative moved from group to group and back again. It gave me a great visualization of how these events were unfolding at the same time in different places but completely intertwined and dependent on each other.
And lastly, I gave the book 5-Stars because it deserved it. I almost gave it only 4-Stars because sometimes people see these reviews and think a friend or family member is trying to bolster their indie author. But I promise you, I have no idea who this Parker Moose guy is other than a great first time author who hit one out of the park (no pun intended) on his first try. I'm disappointed to see his book ranked #862,310 in sales. This means he's getting less than ten sales a month (probably less than five). His work deserves more attention.
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